So in 9 days Paige, Micah, and I will be boarding a plane headed to Kansas. It hasn't sunk in yet that I'm leaving that soon, and I definitely don't feel prepared at all. However, whether or not I feel prepared doesn't change the fact that I trust that God will have me completely ready, even if it's not until the day that I leave.
I've been reading Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers and am still not finished, but it has already helped opened my heart to something that I've been failing miserably at: Loving God. If you haven't read it then I absolutely recommend it, but basically it's a fictional version of the book of Hosea. Anyway, there is one part in the book where this prostitute (who has been taken away from her old life to live married to a christian man) realizes how much this man did for her and how much he sacrificed for her. Even though she doesn't love him, she still feels like she owes him for everything he has done. She decides to pay him back by working overtime around the farm. "She hoped to please him by working like a slave when all he wanted was her love." I read this and realized this has been me for way too long.
So this morning in church I told God that I knew I had been doing a terrible job at loving Him back. The only thing is that I found myself standing before God not even knowing HOW to correctly love Him. So I told Him that I needed help in seeing how I was suppose to love Him. When I asked Him to show me how to love Him, I heard that distinct voice that I've been blocking out, saying: "Trust Me". So that's what I'm doing...or at least gonna try my best to do.
I'm not exactly sure what I need to pray for about this, but luckily I have the Holy Spirit and you for that. I do ask, though, that you be at least praying for me over the course of this summer that I'm attuned to His will...whatever that may be.
